Even Though We're Far Apart

Even though
we're far apart
I always have you in my heart
to here
to now
till that day
I loved you so why did you fly away

god said she was ready
I disagree
god took her in his hand
and said to me

she is needed up here
she won't be far
when you hear her name
you may not laugh

then he went up to heaven and
off she went
even though she is happy
my heart got bent

she watches me as I cry
she watches me when I succeed
everyday I wonder why
why my sister had to die

but then I'm told
she is now free
to live her life
in eternity

she has her life
ahead of her
but even though she's gone
I can finally breathe firm

it was wonderful friendship between her and I
remembering it now makes me cry
you think of her sorrow you think
of her pain

now just remember she is healthy again
he took her away to a better place you hurt my sister
I hurt his face
R.I.P my sister Cassey Reener O'Gradys

The Devil

I sit here alone
But the devil is upon me

My thoughts so cold
Ad the devil is me

Not a soul in sight
The devil will kill me

Breathing steady tonight
The devil is ready for me

Not scared of death
The devil is waiting for me

Ready with my knife
The devil is watching me

The blade at my throat
The devil is killing me

Cut long and deep
The devil laughs at me

On my death bed
The devil whispers to me
"Is it a crime to kill if it is your own life you take?"

Am I Selfish?

Every day a waiting game
We watch we wait
Our lives have become you
It’s hard not to be selfish.

We put on our brave faces
But when the doors are closed our emotions show
We say life goes on but really we are all stood still.

We wait for news but imagine the worst
In silence we ask why us why now?
It’s hard not to ask why me?

Although your home it’s only the beginning
Six weeks it’s going to get worse
Life will get hard
How can I not be selfish?

00:01am ( I AM)

No one needs me.
No one care to me.
Im a ghost.
I am Nothing.

Life..
What for?
Im gonna die.

Death..
Im a ghost, right?
I am nothing.

People stay away from me.
Im all alone.
They look at me,
Just a while.

I think that they know me.
But im wrong.
They passes me by.
like they just saw dust.
Or just a wind.

Yes..
Im a ghost.
Im a dust.
Im a wind.
Im nothing.
Im unusefull

And I am going to disapear..

Apa Balasan Untuk Jantung Mu?

Jantung..
Berdetak untuk kita.
Tapi kita tidak pernah berdetak untuknya.

Jantung..
Pejuang setia untuk kita.
Tapi kita tidak pernah berjuang untuknya.. oh.. tidak.. tidak..
Hanya belum..

Pernahkah kalian berpikir untuk membalas jasanya?

Aku pikir..
Kematian adalah balasan terbaik..

-loui-

Jiwaku, Sahabatku.

Ketika cahaya itu hilang, bukan cinta yang bisa mengembalikannya.
Bukan juga "Kasih" yang selalu ada untukmu..

Ketika angin berhembus dingin dan sunyi, bukan suara yang meramaikannya.
Bukan juga "Tawa" yang menghangatkan mu..

Sendiri bukan berarti sepi.
Bukan juga "Semua Hal" yang tidak memperdulikan mu..

Tiada bukan berarti hilang..
Bukan juga "Pergi" yang meninggalkan mu..

Tapi..

Jiwa,
Ia yang harus mengembalikan cahaya itu.
Ia yang harus menghangatkan mu.
Ia yang tidak pernah meremehkan mu.
Ia yang tidak pernah meninggalkan mu.

Jiwamu,
Dirimu sendiri..


Kalau kau tanya mana sahabatku;
Aku punya 3..

Pertama, diriku..
Kedua, sahabat kecilku, vivi..
Ketiga, Gissele..

Sahabat Dan Teman Palsu

Bagaimana Jika temanmu itu palsu?

Pernahkah kamu merasa seperti itu? Aku pernah!!!

Ketika kamu harus meninggalkan sahabatmu, apa kamu pikir kita akan medapat sahabat yang lain?

Aku rasa tidak!! Mereka palsu!!

Ada saatnya sahabatmu meninggalkan mu, but they will never leave you. They keep stay with you, in your mind, with the memories.

But what i got here are fake!!

Masih banyak ya orang-orang yang "ADA UDANG DI BALIK BATU" ?

Kalau banyak, berarti dunia ini masih membutuhkan lebih banyak kesabaran...

Teman palsu itu banyak..

Tapi sahabat ku hanya satu..

vivi

10.30.1995

Today I Know About That / Friend and Friendship / I keep learning and Never Give Up / LIFE MUST GO ON

today i know that everyone i meet everyday can be friend, and today i know that not anyone can be best friend.

-Kediri, East Java, Indonesia-
I dont have a true friend here, in school, home, or anywhere. I am alone.
"SELFISH", I know that everybody have this trait. Here i found someone with a high rate of selfish. Nia, i try to stay away from you, because i want to you to realize. But in fact, im failed. I dont have any way to make you realize. im sorry..

-Malang, East Java, Indonesia-
I have some close friend here, in school, home, everywhere. Like i feel so calm in peace everytime im back here. My home, my mom, dad, brothers, causins, they are that always missed. Always..


-Maastricht, Netherland-
Here i have some friend which can be crazy with me everyday. I feel happy everytime i am with them. I will always remember you, Mes Amis. I will..

Today, in some moment, im failed, i feel like im down into a deeply curve, so i feel like i cant go up. But i try to be.. Keep try and i wont give up.. NO!! Life must go on, right?

Thats what i remember today..
I dont know how long i will forgeting everyone.. I dont know how long i will survive againts this pain..


-loui-